Osama Bin Braking Bad

Braking news - Toyota's Braking and acceleraration issues due to malfunctioning floor mats. A grand jury convened late Wednesday evening citing ill-fitting and loose floor mats that could become dislodged and weged under the brake and/or accelerator pedal as the cause for millions of recent Toyota recalls. In a late breaking development Hikara Cheng, an upper level Toyota executive said "These floor mats were bought from Northern Afghanistan to save money", "They may in fact be terrorist floor mats". Akio Koyaba, the president of Toyota says, "We are gravely sorry for these rogue floor mats". He added, "Consumers are cautioned to be wary of floor mats imprinted with a full color likeness of Osama Bin Laden, as these are especially likely to cause serious problems." At this hour, several dozen floor mats are being detained and "questioned" under the supervision of US authorites at the Guantanamo bay correctional facility. A spokesman for the facility says "We will not stop beating these floor mats until they divulge crucial information","and free from dust and dirt". Ahmid Jarlabeqenbar, an activist for the extremist group "Reform Guantanamo" says "We feel the cruel treatment of these floor mats is unconstitutional". He continued "I mean isn't it bad enough that we step on them and spill coffee on them day in and day out, and now this". A spokesman from Guantanamo bay responded, "That's ridiculous". Other recalls from major car manufacturers also cite unruly and most likely terrorist floor mats as the subject of their recalls.